Heal Me
by Just.Pieces.In.Their.Games
Summary: Katniss is still grieving, and has resented help from anyone. But one day after walking into someone that brought back the worst of the memories, she realizes she needs Peeta to be able to heal. He no longer suffers from violent attacks and can clearly tell fiction from reality, and, most importantly, he knows he loves her. Possibly some lemons later on.
1. Realization

"Katniss, you did it yourself. You've chamged the world for the better." Peeta had told me. "You're okay now. No one will ever hurt you. It's different now. Everything is."  
I just looked at him. God, I hated him sometimes, almost as much as I'd hated myself sometimes as well.

There was no more games. But with that great feat came great tragedy. Worse than the grief I'd felt when my father died in the mine explosion. I lost what seems like everyone.  
I lost Finnick. Oh God, Finnick I miss you.  
I'd lost little duck. I pray every night because of her. Knowing she's up there looking down on me makes everyday a little more livable. But she's still gone.  
My mother had drowned out the world once again. she especially tries to avoid all contact with me. I am a reminder of what was lost. I only open old scars, still unhealed and painful. When she sees me all she sees is my father and Prim.  
I'd lost Gale. This one was the hardest to get used to, but the easiest to get had done bad things in the time of the war against the Capitol. He'd been nonchalant about killing innocent men, women, and children. Uncaring of anyone's fate. He wanted every single person in the Capitol dead. Whether they be Criminals or not. I had seen just as much of Gale as I had my mother. Which was noneat all.  
"Everyone I loved..." I'd cry at night.  
"Damn you!" I'd yell at the sky.  
"Why?" I'd sob uncontrollably.  
Then there was that one day, when someone who I'd cry when I thought of, bumped into me, and changed the way I saw things.  
"Katniss." She's said with the sweetest smile. I can tell now why the great Finnick Odair fell so hard in love for her.  
"Annie?" I asked. And for the fist time in a while, I smiled.  
Then it faded. You want to know why? Because there with her, riding on her hip was a little green eyed, giggling, 18 month old, fatherless baby. I'd seen it happen. Watch Finnick as those beasts went at him, right for his throat.  
Stop you're tearing up I told myself.  
I missed Annie, alot. And quite unlike me, I let someone in, and let the truth seep out.  
"I missed you Annie. It's been so hard..." I looked down, ashamed that I'd put down my seemingly unpenitrable wall.  
"I know Katniss," her smile faded as well. "But we're not alone." I looked at her quizzically for a moment.  
She smiled at me and lightly bounced the little ball of joy on her hip, signaling who she 'had'.  
"We have each other, right?" I asked, still unsure of what she meant. Why this woman was labeled crazy I will never know.  
"Yes." she whispered. "But you have someone else, who loves you more than life itself." She gave me a smile, a hug, and let me say goodbye to baby Cordon.  
I knew who she meant.  
I watched Annie walk away for a long time. As they walked by the lake, something caught Cordon's keen eye, and annie laughed and pointed enthusiastically.  
When they were out of sight, I found myself running. Running faster and harder than I had in months. Straight to somewhere all too familiar, yet so strange at the same time.  
I kept running until I reached it.  
I saw those three boys I see every night walking home, hauling bags of huge bags of flour from a cart. Laughing like maniacs at each others jokes.  
I slowed my pace to a fast walk. determined, it seemed.  
"Hi Katniss!" One boy said with a smile of pure gold. Nothing but joy, that boy was made out of.  
I gave him a nod and weaved my way through the friends.  
Just before I reached the door, a little girl trotted out. Oh my... She's so much like Rue!  
No. Stop.  
I burst through the door, and scanned the room for him. At first all I saw was two more boys, staring at me like I had two heads. I stared back at them, not knowing what to say. Eventually one of them shrugged, and they both walked outside to join the others right outside the big glass window.  
"Yeah, yeah, laugh now. You'll see, you wait!" A boys joking voice sounded, accomponied by a girls giggle, and a squeaking old door. I whirled around to see a girl with jet black hair pulled into a long perfect pony tail, and a boy with shaggy black hair. Siblings.  
"Katniss? Wow haven't seen you in a while." One said.  
But at the sound of my name, I heard boots clanking on the floor behind them with uneven steps, and saw two hands come between the two and push them aside.  
And there he stood. My human therapy. My only thing left.  
"Peeta..." I said, though it sounded more like a sigh. And before I knew it, I was running right at him. He opened his arms for me, as I hoped he would, and was ever so terrified he wouldn't.  
I ran right into those strong enveloping I hadn't really realized I'd missed so bad. I pressed my face against his chest. The tears were uncontrollable.  
"Peeta. I'm so sorry. I've been so... I'm sorry." I sobbed into him. He removed one hand from around me and waved off the boy and girl.  
"Shh," he said ever so quietly, "It's okay Katniss." He knew me so well. He knew exactly what was wrong. 


	2. I love you

I sniffled and hid my face, ashamed of the tears. I watched Peeta's black leather boots as he maneuvered me through the bodies, or by my point of view, all of the feet. No amount of comfort could fix that hollow feeling at the pit of my stomach, like a rooted version of when you dream about falling, when only half asleep. Nothing is more embarrassing to me than strangers seeing your weaknesses, your secrets. That's something Peeta can't fix. The way my brain is wired to not care what anyone feels, I only worry of their future actions. I distrust everyone but Peeta, and if my mother weren't basically dead to me, she'd be on that list too.

Peeta leads with an arm around me, pulling me into the curve of his side. I haven't lifted my head since I ran to him in the shop, and I doubt I ever will. What was I _thinking?_ I've locked myself away for so long, when people see me they stop and stare, and I don't think it's because I'm "The Girl On Fire" anymore. It's because of what I've been through, what it's done to me. Then I go and run to someone for support, when in every relationship I've ever had, whether it is my mother or Gale, I am the last man standing.

I hear a goat bleating and immediately the dam that was starting to slowly fix itself, as I remembered Prim's goat. I can see Prim so clear in my mind, like I'm looking right at her. I start to sob, making a choking sound more than anything. Peeta pulls me a little tighter, and I feel the depression start to dissipate, all because he's near, because he's holding me.

_I love you,_ I think, trying to make myself say it, but it's useless. I don't even remember the last time I said those words, let alone meant it. _I love you, I love you, I love you_. Dammit! I do love him, so much. But I'm so wounded, I don't know if I could even bear hearing myself say it.

Peeta ever so softly hushes me. "It's okay Katniss. _You're_ okay." I know I am on the outside, it's the inside that he couldn't be more wrong about. How could I be okay when everyone I knew I lost? All I have left is him, and I'm starting to think that's the only reason I'm here right now.

No. I love him. I have to. I don't have to but I do… I think.

A dog barks and I see a big blur of black and white dash around me feet, making me stumble. Peeta quiets the dog, telling it to "go lie down". The dog obeys instantly, and he guides me toward a chair where he sets me down on a chair, crouching down in front of me. He just sits there a moment, studying me. I let him, feeling it's best to just crawl back into my shell, and see what happens.

He reaches out a hand, tilting my head up gingerly, though I don't dare meet his eyes. "Katniss…" he whispers, so quiet it takes me a moment to realize it was my name. He scoots forward, closer to me, and wipes away one of the many tears with his thumb. His touch leaves a trail of fire I haven't felt in so long, I trap his hand there with mine. My shoulders still shake with quick intakes of air, and Peeta sighs, almost with relief, as I let him touch me.

"Tell me. Tell me please. What's wrong?" He says quickly, but still speaking in a low, soft voice.

I stop and think. What do I tell him? I'm falling apart? I'm dying inside? I don't think so. I decide to just let the truth unfold, while still being rational.

"I missed you. I have nothing, and it's sad that it took that to realize I need you." I said, finally looking him in the eyes. He watches me, his face crumbling into a look of relief, and… love I guess. "I'm tired of being alone all the time. I need someone, and that someone is you." I tear rolls off of my nose, falling to my hand in my lap, and that's not the only thing wet that a feel. A nose nudges my wrist, forcing me to look at those big, brown eyes. I feel a smile push its way through the overwhelming sadness. Then a small laugh seeps through as well.

Peeta scratches the dog's head. "Blakely." He tells me. I slip off the chair, plopping on the ground intentionally, and get attacked with a wave of slobbery licks. I rock back with the kisses intensity, and squeeze my eyes shut instinctively. Peeta chuckles at me, as Blakely shoves his way onto my lap, even though he's much too big. Staying low to the ground, he pushed his back to my stomach, whacking me with his very bony tail. My vision was still blurred as I smiled and kissed him back, right on the forehead, only to get him more excited.

"He's good at his job, apparently." Peeta says, scratching Blakely on the rump.

"What's his job?" I ask curiously. I didn't think he was the kind of person to have a working dog, especially since Peeta owns a bakery.

"Making you feel better." With a big smile, Peeta twists around, grabbing something and turning back to me. It was a plush chew toy, and obviously it was Blakely's favorite. "Throw it. It'll give you a minute to dry off your face."

I take the dog toy, waving in front of him, and he barks and bows playfully, his whole but wagging. I throw it down a hallway, and he claws after it, unable to get a foothold on the wood floors.

Peeta stands, stretching his arms out to me saying, "Come on." I take his hands, and he hauls me up to my feet with ease, keeping my hand trapped in his as Blakely comes dashing back in. I look out the window to see an orange and pink sky, the sun beginning to shy away behind the horizon.

Peeta pulls me into the living room, setting me down on a couch and sitting next to me. "What changed?" He asked, wasting no time.

I hesitate trying to pinpoint what the change really was, but it comes to me quickly. "Annie. And Cordon." He nods slowly, understanding.

"Haven't seen them in a while, I she had a scare with Cordon." He says, and I almost jump out of my seat.

"What? What happened? What scare?"

"He might not be… normal. He might have something wrong with his brain. I think he's fine though, don't worry." He tells me. I don't know what I'd do if that happened to Annie, I just don't. She's been through so much. She can't lose Finnick and have Cordon have brain damage, she can't. I realize I'm staring at Peeta like he just told me he's pregnant, and lean back, dragging my hands down my face. He sees my worry, and pulls me close. I stiffen at first, and then almost melt into him, wanting nothing more than to be with him, to be a part of him. I lay my head on his shoulder, sighing and wrapping my arms around his firm body.

"I missed this." He says, breaking the growing silence. "Are you staying with me?" He asks, then after a moment, when I don't reply he adds, "Will you?" I felt my heartbeat increase tenfold, and think _yes, yes, yes!_ But I force myself to calm down. It dawns on me that by being in my odd, depressed state, Peeta was here thinking of me, missing me, and I feel like a selfish bastard.

"Yes." I whisper, just loud enough so he hears over the small sound Blakely makes as he shakes his toy vigorously. I feel all of the muscles in his body relax, and I do a bit too. I feel like I'm safe once again in Peeta's arms. He doesn't remind me of those horrible nights in that man-made forest or jungle, where we just barely survived together. He doesn't remind me of that trackerjacker infected monster he was, when he killed a man by kicking him, and he went flying onto a mislabeled pod, encasing the man in barbed wire. He reminds me of that sweet smile that kept me going, the reason I had the willpower to go through those horrible games twice, the source of my desire to fight. I wanted to fight for Peeta, to keep him alive because I loved him. Because I still love him.

"Peeta?" I ask, grasping his attention.

"Hmm?"

"I love you. I know that was out of the blue, but you needed to know." I say, racing to finish my sentence, scared of his reply.

"I already know Katniss. Just like you know I love you too. You're everything to me." He rubs my arm, kissing my forehead lightly. I lift my head to look at him, and look in those deep blue eyes, which were like endless oceans, glinting with happiness. With him so close, I only have one desire.

I quickly twist my hand into hair, and pull his lips to mine. They're warm and sweet, just like I remember, but better. Because this time, I'm not worried of death waiting around the corners, or cameras watching our every move. One of his hand caresses my jaw, the other holding my hip, and I hope he never lets go.


	3. My thanks

My eyes flutter open, only to find Blakely sitting on the floor watching me, his head cocked. I stretch my arms, and realize Peeta's firm, yet soft chest is no longer underneath me. I sit up, ignoring Blakely as he grumbles and shoves his toy closer to me, trying to provoke me to throw it. Standing, I begin to search the kitchen, which is vacant, and then walk down the short hallway, its four doors leading to a bathroom, a closet, Peeta's room and a guest room. All of which don't consist of a blond boy.

"Peeta?" I call. No answer. I walk back to where Blakely still lies, this time on his back, throwing his head back and forth, wriggling like a worm. "Where is he, Blakely? Huh?"

I wander outside, Blakely following right on my heels. He gallops off into the fog-filled yard, yapping and barking at a stray cat. _If I was him, where would I go this early? _The only thing is I'm Katniss, not Peeta. Who knows what goes through his mind.

The bakery? It's closed on Sundays. Maybe the market, though at this hour I don't know what for, there would be no vendors. It roughly 6 A.M., and even though I have no desire to, my body screams at me to return to bed.

I walk the rest of the way down the small path to the road, and once again, Blakely follows, sticking close but still wandering a good ways off. I get a peculiar glance from a young girl, probably 15, as I walk away from someone else's home, with their dog in tow. But something strikes my mind; maybe she's thinking something else. About Peeta and I. She might think we just met up again and slept together, and I turn away from her and pick up the pace.

I walk down to the busiest part of our little town, by the marina and all the shops. People are just starting to head to work and wake, readying themselves for another day. Someone bumps square into me, and I whip around to snap at them, but shut my mouth when I see the man.

He's young, probably twenty-five, but most likely around six six, six seven. Tattoos snake up his arms and disappear under his sleeves, peeking out again at the collar of his shirt. He smells horribly of liquor and cigarettes, and wears a five o'clock shadow on his jaw.

"Watch where you're going little girl." He spits in my face, though _he_ ran into _me_, and I try not to completely shrink away. Blakely stands a good distance away, eyeing the man. I don't trust him, obviously, but in a way I feel I should run right now, and never look back. "Hey, I know you. You're that fire girl, the rebel. While since I heard your name, sweet cheeks." I curl my lips in disgust, but apparently, to him, that's funny.

"Beat it, I'm just looking for a friend." I say, seeing how far this man allows himself to be pushed. Hopefully he has some self-control, because I sure don't.

"Oh yeah? And who's that?"

"Why do you care?" I snap, folding my arms over my chest. The man gets closer, only inches away, and I step backwards, trying to show I want no contact with him.

"Man you're feisty. I like 'em that way." He growls, grabbing my wrists, and pinning me to the brick wall of the fish store. "You wanna have some fun, what is it, Katniss?"

"Get off me you scumbag! Get-" I'm interrupted by Blakely's fierce barking, spit flying from his mouth, jaws snapping. The man just looks at him, pondering what to do, then turns back to me.

"This your dog?" A smirk crosses his lips, and makes him look all the more sinister.

"No, but he knows pervert when he sees one." I try to remain calm, but my breaths come out heavy and shaky. My hands which are still pinned to the wall are balled up into fists, and I want ever so badly to punch this guy's lights out.

"What are you gonna do, little girl?" He whispers, bringing his face closer than ever, his lips brushing my cheekbone. I clench my eyes shut, and take in a breath, bracing myself for the loudest scream of my life. I notice Blakely has stopped barking, and when I try to peek over the man's shoulders, he's not there. Coward.

The man's hand travels down my side to my hip, and I feel nauseated, like I can scream but can't bring myself to do it. And I called Blakely the coward. I've lived to see many horrible things, but none as horrible as watching this man violate me, and doing nothing about it.

"Get off!" I manage through clenched teeth, and my eyes begin to burn like they always do before the first tear falls. The man's hand continues to wander, but I hear Blakely barking in the distance, too far to tell if it's coming or leaving.

But the barking continues, getting stronger and louder until I hear the faint scratching of his paws on concrete, and heavy footsteps behind. Blakely's done it, he's saved me. I crane my neck and see that familiar flash of black and white, followed by two silhouettes blurred by the fog. I cry out to whomever Blakely has found.

"There!" I low, somewhat familiar voice barks, dashing this way, merely twenty feet away. The man looks up from my eyes just in time to see the figures before one barrels into him. A man with mocha skin wrestles my attacker, landing a solid punch on his jaw. It's the worker from Peeta's bakery, the middle aged man who's always looking after the young goons.

Enveloping arms wrap around me, pulling me into a warm body that smelled of flour and pine. Peeta. I throw my arms around him as my legs give out, though I do not sob. I've been through enough to know tears get you nowhere. In fact, Peeta seems just about ready to have a heart attack, and I find myself telling him it's okay.

After letting the pervert know that if he ever was seen around here again he's a dead man, the worker from the bakery lets him go. I don't mind, because he looked utterly terrified, but then again so did I.

"Are you okay Ms. Everdeen?" He asked me, putting a big gentle hand on my shoulder. I nod numbly. "Good. Now you go home and you get some rest." He tells me, with one last sympathetic glance before he walks off.

Peeta takes me back to his house, as I'm unable to part with him. My hands shake badly even as he holds one firmly in his. When I sit down on his bed, I bring Blakely into my arms, thanking him out loud. Peeta sits beside me, rubbing his hand in circles around my back. Though I'd rather not be touched right now, different rules apply with him.

"I'm so sorry Katniss, I should have woken you to tell you where I was going. Then you-"

"No. None of this is your fault, nor is it anyone's. I just want to forget it happened." Though that's not likely. I nudge Blakely, and he hops off of my lap onto the ground, and I turn to Peeta.

"I'm just…" He starts, but I silence him by planting a kiss on his lips. I intended on pulling away, but the warmth and safety of his entire being was too much to bear. I scoot closer to him and he leans back, eventually lying down, and I crawl on top of him, keeping our lips connected. He gently places his hands on my hips, and tilts his head to deepen the kiss.

Most normal teens would be mortified right now, rejecting anyone's help or attention, but I need Peeta, and I know it. If it weren't for him, I'm not going to lie, I would be a mess right now. His gentle yet strong demeanor keeps me sane. Even while I was rejecting the world, whenever I thought of him, I got this funny feeling that I can't explain. I used to tell myself that he was too close to the world I wanted to leave behind, but the truth is he's nothing like it, he's just like me, though in a not-so-drastic way. He's trying to forget, and he does that through me. That head over heels in love boy the world saw during the games was no joke.

"Katniss," Peeta mumbles through the kiss. "After what just happened, I don't feel comfortable with this." He says, referring to my very frisky touch. His voice wasn't commanding or tough, it was a barrier keeping a certain action from happening, but it was weak and frail. Easy to knock down.

"Isn't that my line?" I smile at him, giving him the extra reassurance he couldn't find in himself. He smiles back, and connects our lips once again. He puts a hand on the small of my back, rolling us over so he's on top. He wrests another very warm hand on my hip, under my shirt. The touch tells me he's ready for this, that I'm free to lead on.

And I do just that.

I rip his shirt off, disconnecting our lips for a moment. He kisses my jawline, soft as a butterfly and I mumble something even I couldn't understand. I feel his lips curve into a smile at my soft moans of delight, and it's obvious he's toying with me. I arch my back as he slowly removes my shirt, helping him get it completely off. I feel every dip and crevice of his muscles as he lies on me, supporting most of his weight on his arms and knees.

I run my hands down his back until I feel the elastic of his boxers, being held in place by his pants. I waste no time finding the buckle of his belt, undoing it, and ripping it out of its loops. I move just right so he can reach the clasp of my bra, but he grumbles as he can't unclasp it. I laugh a bit, making him blush in the dim light of dawn, and do it for him. I throw it to the ground, uncaring of where it lands, though I do feel a bit bad that it was right on top of Blakely. Why he's still hanging around, I don't know.

Peeta undoes the button of my jeans, sliding them down and off of my legs, tossing it in the same direction my bra went. Sorry Blakely. I do the same to him, but am careful to miss the poor dog, who by now, has backed out of the danger zone.

We both quickly remove the rest of our remaining undergarments, and he positions himself over top of me. "Katniss." He whispers warily in my ear.

"Please." I say, crying out as he enters me. At first the movements are painful and rough, but we reach a sort of rhythmic state with a little time. My cries grow in volume, as do his. I feel every deep groan emanate from Peeta's throat.

After an hour of sweet sighs and amazing pleasure, Peeta collapses beside me, spooning around me. I don't remember a time where I've ever been so happy. I never will be this happy ever again. But maybe with Peeta around, it will never go away.

My life goes on, but not alone. Peeta and I go on to marry, having two gorgeous children. No longer do I fight the scary darkness of depression, and now Peeta must now share the reserved spot in my heart that knows no mourning or pain, with a young boy and girl, who run about with Blakely by the pier.

"I will love another girl one day," He told me as he knelt, holding out a beautiful ring to me. "She'll look just like you and have my last name."

My heart belongs to you. You healed me, and I'll never let you go.


End file.
